Someone call the wahhhmbulance

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So for the past 6 nights, my daughter has decided to wake up hollering and shaking the rails of her crib in the middle of the night and will not stop screaming until my husband or I go in and rock her.  As cute as she is, I would really prefer not to see her at 3 am, particularly when she is yelling for no apparent reason.  I took her to the doctor to follow up on her most recent ear infection (sigh) and she’s healthy, so I think she’s yelling just because she can.  And maybe because she’s finally getting her top two teeth.

Anywho, I don’t think I can fully explain how freaking mean and grumpy and generally psychotic lack of sleep makes me.  For example, I could not find a matching sock for my son this morning (laundry tends to reproduce like the Duggars in my house when mama’s tired), and I seriously considered punching the laundry basket.  Because it really had it coming.

Functioning at work while sleep deprived is always a bit of a performance.  It requires a little extra make-up, a lot more working with the door closed, and massive amounts of coffee, combined with telling a few select blabbermouths about my lack of sleep so the word slowly makes its way to the people who need to know that, really, don’t mess with Sarah today.  On a conference call yesterday, someone I’ve never met actually said, “Oh, did you finally get some sleep last night?”  Well done, my co-blabbermouths.

And tonight is my first Girls Night Out in, oh, like a year and a half.  Although it probably doesn’t qualify as a real girls night out because (1) I am wearing frumpy flats and my hair is a wreck; (2) there will be no drunken dancing unless something goes terribly wrong; and (3) we are going to a book signing.  At a synagogue.  Somewhere in the middle of pregnancy #2 I officially became lame.  Whatevs.  The point is that I’m exhausted, feeling sad that I won’t be putting my kids to bed tonight, and not able to appreciate the good things I have going on today.

Some day I’ll make a Costanza-style napping nest under my desk.  If only I had the energy.

Nice to meet you

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My three-year-old son told me this morning that now that he is big, he is a karate expert.  And then he punched the air “REALLY HARD” twice and then gave me a look like, “See, I am a bad ass.”  Oh, the confidence!  I have no idea what I’m going to say on this blog, or why or to whom, but here I am.  Inspired by my preschooler karate expert to just go ahead and do something already.  So hi.

I’m a working mom, which means a million different things to different people.  But for me, it means I’m a lawyer at a big DC law firm (which shall remain nameless) and have a three-year-old miniature black belt son (who, for the record, has never actually taken karate) and a very opinionated 15-month-old daughter whose hobbies include poking people (mainly me) in the face, doing the exact opposite of what I want her to do, and generally being squishy and adorable.  And my husband, oh my husband.  I don’t know how I got so lucky.  Some days I feel like I’m juggling it all well, some days I feel like I’m half-assing everything I do.  But most days I’m just getting along and trying to enjoy every second with my kids (even the poking in the face part) while not completely screwing something up at my job.

I started this blog because my friends tell me that I’m funny over email (they’re always quick to add the “over email” part, so as not to imply that I’m actually funny IN PERSON).  Also, because I feel like I’ve got some big decisions to make in the future (commit to my career?  move to the burbs?  get invested in “Conveyor Belt of Love”?) that could prove highly entertaining.  And I know these decisions are not unique — everyone I know seems to still be struggling to decide what they want to be when they grow up, and how to balance the crazy love you feel for your kids with functioning in the world — so I’m hoping to get perspectives from other people.  Who I don’t know and who may be completely loony.  Because, despite what my husband may say, I don’t really have enough of the loony point of view on things.

I have no idea how to end a blog post.  So good day.